Christina

MY LIFE SO FAR
Hi my name is Christina and I'm 36 yrs old and I suffer form raynards, scleroderma, arthritis and onset of crest .

My story beings back in the late 70s early 80s . I can remember when it first started with losing the use of one finger and it would take hours for it to come back. Then in the 90s it started in all my fingers on both hands (today I cant work with my hands very long 10-15 mins at most.) When my son was born my hands just got worst and no one knew what was wrong with them . 5 yrs later my daughter was born and it just got so bad that I couldn't hold anything without dropping it. This went on for a long time.

Then in 2001 I met the man of my dreams (after kissing so many frogs.) He was my knight in shining armour, but there was a sadness because I could not have anymore children . Then I got very sick. Eventually I had to have a hysterectomy which meant I went straight to the menopause . James my partner was great. He done everything for me and help me get on the road to recovery.

Then the bombshell was dropped on us again. We were told that I had raynards with crest. Some months later I got told that it was not crest that it was just raynards and I had nothing to worry about . So much for nothing to worry about. But I still knew something was wrong with my body and not just in my head . I had to go for test at the hospital. After months of waiting, I rang them for the results they eventually forward them to my doctor. The results was I had raynards , scleroderma, arthritis. That knock the wind out of me but I didn't know the serious it was. Then a few months ago I found out I had crest.

Now I was worried about this, but not as much as James had to under go an operation on his spine so I was more worried about him and my daughter who has asthma than worrying about myself. Then a few days ago I was looking up scleroderma on the internet when I found out what this is all about . I just can't get my head around it at the moment . I think if the doctors at the hospital had done there job correctly I could have dealt with it much better than I do now. At the moment I'm not coping very well but each day is different. I can get through this except there is no end to what I have. Some of the storys I've read are frightening but with a good sense of humour we can laugh at the things we say about our disease and not think about tomorrow.

That's what I'm going to do from now on. When I'm hurting I'll cry - when it's not (which is very seldom) I'm going to smile and laugh and play with my family because I never know when I wont be able to and when that day comes I will look back and remember how happy we were and how I have loved my life at all cost.

noonanchritina@yahoo.co.uk