She was beautiful...
My mother's battle with scleroderma ended on July 19, 2000 when her heart
could take no more. Just days before the doctors asked her if she would
sign a (DNR) Do Not Resuscitate form and she firmly refused, she said "I
Want to Live". To watch your mother suffer is not easy, but to see her
fight was inspiring and something that I will never forget.
I'm 32 years old and I continue to say, when I grow up, I want to be just
like my mother. As a girl in elementary school I had the prettiest mom at
parent-teacher night. Throughout high school, college and my career my
friends adopted my mother as their own.
I want you to understand the kind of person she was. If I share this one
story, you will understand that she was truly an angel. Kelly, a co-worker
relocated from Chicago to Dallas leaving all of her family in Illinois. In
November of 1998, Kelly began to experience blurred vision and severe
headaches. Kelly had a brain tumor the size of a lemon that was removed
within 48hrs of it being discovered. Kelly was operated on and went into a
coma for the next 4 days. On Thanksgiving Day Kelly awoke from her coma
and was released from the hospital in December. My mother made me pack
Kelly up from her apartment and invited her into her home where she would
take care of her during her recovery. Mind you, my mother was suffering on
a daily basis with scleroderma, her kidneys had failed her 3 years before
and was on dialysis every other day. She nursed Kelly back to health and
today Kelly is 4 months pregnant.
My mom never stopped being a mother, in the midst of her suffering she
loved. She loved everyone as God loves us. I could choose to tell you
about how much she suffered, but I can't because her love was greater than
her disease. Her light is stronger today because her 4 children strive to
be the person that she was. She taught us to love God with your whole
heart, to love your family and that nothing is impossible.
My mother should have died in 1995 when her doctors failed to understand
her illness. She was told nothing was wrong with her body, that she needed
mental help because her health was fine. Three days later we rushed her to
the hospital to find out that her heart, lungs and kidneys were failing
and that she wouldn't live through the night. So they said, she lived 5
more years. She lived to see her grand-babies, she lived to see her
children get married, she lived...she lived.
God is good, he gave her to us long enough for us to let go and say
good-bye. If she had her choice, she would be here today. The love she
showed was a sacrifice, she endured suffering to be with her family, her
illness should have taken her years before it did, but she lived because
she wanted to live.
I said in elementary school I was known to have the pretties mom in
school. As an adult, scleroderma changed her appearance. Her face was so
tight, the hernia in her stomach was obvious on her tiny frame and the
pigmentation on her skin was 8 shades darker than it should have been.
Family members who hadn't seen her ill stared tying to see the person they
remembered. Grocery store clerks just to stare and make her uncomfortable
and each time they did, I looked at her too and saw my mother, more
beautiful than the day before and more beautiful than I remember her from
childhood. Today is Friday, January 4th 2002, my new years resolution is
to strive to be the kind of person my mother was, if I'm successful, I too
will have a special place in heaven waiting for me. Thank you for taking
the time to read her story.
Gennifer -
gennifer.ortega@ey.com
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