In 1992, my family and I had emotional turmoil, my mother was dying of cancer, and we as a family just did everything we possibly could before she passed on.  During this time, I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. The doctor had found a tumor, and I thanked God it wasn't cancer. While I laid in the recovery room, my Mother, bless her heart, was having her first rounds of chemo, at another hospital. I should have expected something didn't really go right with my surgery, because the doctor later told me, "boy you must have something here on earth that you need to tend to, because we almost lost you on the operating table!" I just took that as, okay - thank you God! 

1992 was very emotional for me. Ups and downs with emotions, and trying my best to help mom, my own children, and try to establish some family time, and work full time. One cold February afternoon, I went to pick some wild daffodils, to give to Mom. I came back into my parents home, and my fingers and hands were pale white like I was dead.  Mom wanted to rush me to the hospital, but I told her "oh don't even think about it, I was just cold"....my hand continued to do that. After my mother passed away, my husband left me for another woman one month after my mother died. I was just sick, literally. One night I got severe chest pain, and thought I was going to die. The doctor gave me enderal, and told me to hire a counselor, that I wasn't dealing with emotional issues too well. So off to counseling I went, I really thought I was doing okay with everything!  After counseling, and trying to get back on track, I continued to have chest pains, and just thought it was something I was eating to trigger it. At the time I just loved peach schnapps...ha ha.  So, I figured I was taking care of my kids, and working and being responsible. In the meantime, my husband and I decided to get back together. We were happy together, after 15 years of marriage, I just thought we could be happy again.  But, it was not meant to be. Emotional turmoil once again was stirred. And I decided to divorce him. Also, back to the doctor I went. This time for weight loss, hands turning white, red and blue, tiredness, and chest pain.  The doctor patted me on the head and said he recommended counseling. 

I moved to the East coast in 1995. I fell in love with my pen pal from America On Line, and I decided to get married, and opted for peace love and happiness. I was diagnosed with CREST syndrome in 1996, at first I was devested by the news the doctor had told - I wouldn't live past the age of 50!  I started to cry at the doctor's office, and he pulled out a paper towel, and said get over this, you are one sick girl, and left me all alone. He came back into the room, and gave me a doctor's name for my stomach. He said, I had raynuads, acid reflux disease, and some form of arthritis. Too early to diagnose. After several more strange doctors, and appointments in my area in which I live, my primary care doctor, told me it was time to venture down to John Hopkins. I have been under the care of Dr. Frederick Wigley for nearly three years. One of the things he told me early on, he would be my "coach." Dr. Wigley has given me hope. I praise him for being such a great doctor, and always helping me know what's best for my health.

Since the scleroderma diagnosis, I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjogrens Syndrome, Small Peripheral Nerve damage (neuropathy), raynuads, systemic scleroderma, and dry eye syndrome. Lupus isn't out of the question yet. I remain hopeful, that we someday find a cure for all of these things. I no longer cry about having this illness...I have passed this. I just am concerned with taking good care of my health. I still get emotionally upset, and it seems like things really do upset me more, and it's hard to just shake things off.