My Mother, Velda W. Crum was the strongest Lady I will ever know in my time. Not only did she teach me and all our family members how to stay strong, She showed us how to be strong. I thought she would live forever. The pain that she endured everyday effected all that loved her. Still  I couldn't bear the fact that life would go on with out her. I still have a very difficult time day to day knowing that she isn't here any more. I miss her so bad, I miss her strength, her smile, her laughter and her smell. I can't stand the thought of not being able to see her or talk to her and hear her voice. I miss singing to her...YES, you have probably heard all this before, but this is my story about my Mother I am telling, and it's important for me to share it with you...

In 1961 My Mother was pregnant with her 5th child. During this pregnancy she started developing cramping and soreness throughout her body. As years passed she started noticing other symptoms that Doctors could not figure out what was causing them. In 1988 from unrelated reasons Mom had to stop working due to illnesses. In 1991 the Doctors told her that they found the reasons of her illnesses, ( scleroderma ) .. What is that we all asked?? Not knowing the seriousness behind it all, We all went about our business and had not noticed much change in Mom. She can hide pain better then any person I have ever known. In 1992 after my Brother passed away from Aids, Mom started having more difficulties with the disease. She was Hospitalized for one reason or another, Many times to come. The skin on her body was getting so tight I thought it was going to shrink right off her bones. The pain she went threw, well let me put it to you this way, I wouldn't of survived it. She said," God gave me this disease because he knew I could handle it, instead of giving it to some one else ".. To this day, I hate that saying she use to say, because I didn't want my Mother to have any diseases let alone one that was going to take her life. But she was right, she did handle it and with dignity. After the skin tightening, the discoloring and rashes of the skin came, in blotches. The fevers, Oh how it made her whole body hurt. You couldn't even touch her with out putting her into a 20 level of pain. from a scale of 1 to 10..Mom never complained, or asked for anything except for prayers. As her body started shutting down, the hospital stays started getting longer. Operation after operation, Risk after risk, she would bet the odds every time. The feeding line in her chest would get infected, replacement after replacement. 'She had three or four ruptured hernias in her stomach which didn't help matters any.. Being her system wanted to shut down, but not her will to live the Doctors tried and did everything they could to help prolong the painful death she would later endure. The  tube hanging out of her stomach was embarrassing to her but she nevertheless, put up with it. that to had to be replaced over and over. All the machines we had at home for her, the TPN's and all the medical supplies we needed to clean and attend to was organized to where it was easy access. The knowledge we learned during the time our Mother was alive is beyond me.. All the Doctors we encountered, the nurses, the Intensive care unit nurses all became apart of our concerns, because they were apart of our lives for a big part of the last 6 years... My mother was touching lives while she laid in the ICU in a coma. She brought family members together, she showed us all that just because you may not be able to move, speak, walk or cry, The love of God never gives you more then you can handle. She would pull through, when the Doctors are telling you she won't make it. Over and over we heard that. Never once did My Mother give up. Home in a few weeks she would go.. Now I'm not saying Mom wasn't human, She had her moments at crying, Only when she thought she was to much for her children that were taking care of her and Our Step Dad, Who passed a way of Liver Cancer this pass February 12th 2000.. Once Dad passed away, Mom gave up her will to live, wanted so badly to go be with him. She passed away June 30th 2000. Those where the two hardest Deaths I've had to face. We have lost 7 loved ones this year alone due to illnesses. Not counting all the years in the past. But My heart just won't let me let them go!! My parents rest in peace, No more pain. Walking with our Father. Just can't seem to get past the fact they are gone from earth shakes my world. Well I need to close for now.

This is short compared to what I wanted to write. Thanks for reading my short version of how strong my Mother was during her long term of illness.
Her Daughter , Janat